I don't Mind and It don't Matter

Every day I get new insights about CHOICES-and they always fall into one or more of the following categories: doing, saying, thinking, acting on, considering, ignoring, making, feeling, reacting/not reacting, responding/not responding....and hundreds more I have or haven't actively or consciously explored.

A little more than twenty years ago I was diagnosed with Fibromyalgia-an auto-immune disorder that attacks the body's muscles and connective tissues. During a really severe exacerbation, I am literally bed-ridden for days, weeks, or even months at a time with muscle spasms, extreme fatigue, listlessness, sleeplessness, and the overall feeling of having a bad case of Flu with vast areas of the body screamingly painful and tender to touch; even the hair on my head seems to rebel if a comb or brush comes within close proximity, threatening to inflict torture. Without going into detail on the research and diagnostic suppositions regarding this disease, I'll simply say-IT'S NASTY! Thankfully, the debilitating episodes have become less frequent during this past year and major complaints have been limited to bouts of fatigue, muscle aches & spasms with tenderness and some limited mobility for shorter periods of time (days, rather than weeks or months), allowing me to function easier on a daily basis. I still have Fibro, but it doesn't have Me....at least not ALL the time. And, it's become more of a “mind over matter” thing...I “mind” and it still “matters”, but my conscious functionality is at a higher level.

So, where am I going with all this? About three weeks ago my husband and I returned home following a 2 month vacation driving up and down the West coast, going as far north as Victoria, BC. It was the first vacation time we had taken in 3 years because of his past ill health and it was time to “celebrate life”, so to speak. I did most of the driving and ALL of the trip planning and looked at it as a joyful challenge-most of the time. And here's the odd thing.....in spite of all the hours in the car, sleeping in beds I wasn't used to, hiking or taking long walks (sometimes as many as 7-9 miles in a single day while sightseeing)on all types of terrain, packing and unpacking, hoisting luggage and bags in and out of the car, and commuting on various forms of public transportation as a very active tourist, I never once experienced an entire day totally debilitated with a Fibro flare up. What's up with THAT? Why is it that doing normal household routines, or shopping at the grocery store, or running mundane errands, or sweeping the carport, or cooking a meal and doing dishes afterward can wipe me out and send me scrambling to the medicine cabinet for pain relief, a muscle relaxant, or something to help me sleep?

Mindset and choices-that's what it's all about. Now, I'm not saying that I didn't have some aches and pains and a little trouble sleeping during my vacation-I DID; however, the difference is that I clearly chose to set the physical feelings of discomfort aside and ENJOY the positive aspects of what was going on around me and what I was experiencing. And, I chose to immerse myself in the joy of my experiences, rather than in the possible negative consequences of exceeding my energy levels by saying to myself, “I may be overdoing it right now, but it's so worth it!” As a tool to keep me going I hung my camera around my neck and rarely experienced a day without it. I took thousands of pictures to capture the amazing moments we shared and the ones I experienced on my own. And now, as I review them and sort through them I have a another way to remind myself that I HAVE THE POWER to feel however I choose to feel on any given day at any given moment, for any amount of time. And THAT makes any aches, pains, fatigue, or hint of negativity that wants to attack me all the more worthwhile. It's a question of “Mind Over Matter'-I Mind and IT Matters.

Thank you all for letting me share my thoughts with you. Please send me your comments and for further information, please feel free to contact me at my website: www.fromme2youonline.com.

Sincerely,

Laurie Jo