Obsessiveness VS Choice

When is a behavior NOT a form of obsessive compulsiveness, but rather a matter of choice?

I'd like to think that, on the most part, I'm pretty good at controlling obsessive behaviors. Once in a while I even manage to recognize a potentially obsessive behavior before I give in to it. This can be especially helpful if acting on the behavior would, as a resulting consequence, cause excessive physical discomfort. After all, why would any of us intentionally want to harm ourselves, right?

My husband and I bought a house 2 years ago that had been previously occupied for 3 years. Everything about it was perfect, except for one thing; I don't think the previous owner had EVER washed the kitchen floor. I believed he must have swept it, but that was the extent of his kitchen floor cleanliness. The fact that he had been a very heavy smoker only added to the depth of its grime. Here's the thing. I have washed the floor many times and thought I had been cleaning it...REALLY! What I hadn't realized was that the floor was actually a light ivory patterned linoleum-not tan and dark beige! I take full responsibility for being a non-observant idiot and as a result had committed myself to doing something about it, once I discovered the horror that lay under my feet.

To make a long story short, I tried everything imaginable and even cleaning techniques sworn to work by others. I talked to a girlfriend who was, in my opinion, the Queen of Clean, having run her own cleaning service for years. I bought what she told me would work the best, with “no problem”. Even the guy at the hardware store told me it was a “sure fire wonder” and to be careful not to use too much, since it may take the no wax shine off the original finish. I even bought a shine restorer, just in case. I was loaded for bear and armed with a new mop, ready to take on the task of renewing my 11'x16' kitchen floor with vigor and enthusiasm.

After the first application and subsequent clear water rinse, there was NO noticeable difference. I thought, “OK, I'll try again with a stronger solution mix and leave it on a little longer before mopping.: NADA! NOTHING! ZILCH! What the H...? I committed to trying it again and using a scrub brush along with the mop to help scrub away the grime. I felt like Lady Macbeth who couldn't get the blood off her hands! I was a Mad woman with a purpose who couldn't stop. After 4 hours of intense physical labor I was frustrated and not wanting to admit defeat. The sweat was literally dripping from my brow and I was for all intense and purposes a MESS and so was the mop-it was shredded, and the floor didn't look much better!

On my way to the store to buy a new mop to finish the job, I called my friend Bonnie, who often submits articles for this “I Believe” blog and who is extremely insightful about human behavior and why people do what they do. She listened patiently as I ranted on and on about my new “obsession” , interjecting my one-sided conversation with myself with words like, “I don't know WHAT it's all about, it's so weird...” and “Why aren't I falling flat on my face with exhaustion rather than feeling almost manic with energy?” When I finally took a breath and came up for air, she simply said, “It's not about being obsessive with getting the floor clean-it's about YOU and needing to clean some things up in your life.” WOW! I didn't see THAT coming! Well, maybe I actually did-but chose to ignore the possibility that I had some serious stuff to work on about myself.

When our conversation came to an end, I realized that while we were talking I actually bought the mop, committed to “finishing” what I had started. Oh CRAP! Maybe I really was having an obsessive compulsive breakdown. Choices. At that moment I chose to think of the experience as “continuing” the first step of self help cleanup. In fact, I even told myself that it didn't all have to be done in the same day and I committed to taking a break for a day or two before attacking the task with renewed vigor and purpose.

Looking back at yesterday's frenetic activities and last night's decision to curl up on the couch with some relaxing music and a cold Key lime Pie Martini before taking a hot lavender bath and calling it a night was definitely a wise choice. When I woke up refreshed this morning and headed to the kitchen for a cup of coffee there was the mop and bucket right where I had left it. AND, it's still there! Tomorrow is another day for another challenge. And I will face it with the realization that “it's just a floor and I'm bigger than any 11'x16' piece of territory on ANY day! YEAH!”

In the meantime, I'm spending my emotional energy on sorting through what it is that I need to work on with MYSELF. It may take some time, but the choice is mine to take. Who knows? Maybe the next time I feel a bit compulsive and manic I will channel it into something more exotic like preparing a complicated French recipe. Julia Childs, look out!

Thank you for letting me share my thoughts with you. I hope I have given you some insights and food for thought. Let me know if you have had similar experiences or if you wish to comment, please let me hear from you.

From Me 2 You Online,
Laurie Jo

Do we choose to be Blind?

I believe that a lot of us, at some time or another during our lifetime, go through our days as if we were blind to the rest of the world. It's almost as if for whatever reason we were struck blind all of a sudden. I've felt this way at times when I either refused to “see” what was going on around me, or even “see” another's point of view. Sometimes I would slap my forehead and say something like-”Oops, I lost my awareness there for a while”; or, using the expression from the TV commercial for V8 juice, “I could have had a V8!”...that's one of my personal favorites and I've used it for years.

This past weekend I received one of the Netflix movies, Blindness, I had put in my que at the beginning of the summer. I don't know if any of you have seen it, but it looked intriguing and I like the actors in it (especially Julianne Moore, Mark Ruffalo and Danny Glover). It started out interestingly enough with various characters being suddenly struck “blind” seeing a white light, rather than black darkness, and the initial choice of characters to be stricken were curiously selected. Mark Ruffalo played an Opthamologist, for example. I started to look for contrasts and similarities in their personalities and was becoming quite philosophical and even psychological about the strategic selections made by the writers as to whom would become blind. I took it a step further and put myself in Julianna Moore's character, who was the ONLY protagonist in the cast of characters (other than the government people – isn't THAT interesting?) ” amongst the hundreds who were sharing a government controlled prison-like, internment camp hospital environment who could actually “see”. She had chosen to accompany her husband, played by Mark Ruffalo, when he was the first to be transported to the quarantine facility because she wanted to be supportive and to help him.

As the movie progresses, all sense of order breaks loose in the hospital. Moore continues to keep her sight a secret and tries to minimize the chaos to little avail. It is up to her to lead a group safely to the streets without getting shot by the government appointed guards who truly believe that physical contact with these people will inflict them with the blindness as well. On the most part, I think that a psychologist would have a full time practice analyzing the significance of each character's blindness (as well as those not blinded) and I'd almost be curious enough to read the case files or attempt an analysis of my own. But, in truth, I can't tell you how the movie ended-I did not choose to watch the ensuing chaos past the halfway point of the movie.

What does that say about me? Initially I felt it was because it was too depressing and I didn't need to put myself through that. Now, two days later, I'm thinking it was because it struck home on several levels (which was probably the point for making the movie in the first place, DUH!).

All my life I've been helping people – especially the last 3 years during my husband's health issues. All my life I've tried to be the practical “leader” in many situations that required making sense out of chaos. And, more times than I can count, I've tried to put a bandage on things that didn't look or feel right in the hopes that the negative stuff would disappear and “be all better” in a flash. Talk about turning a “blind eye” to life! Well, I've decided, at least for the next few days, I'm going to CHOOSE to keep my eyes open. Open to new ideas, new possibilities, new opportunities, new relationships, new surroundings, …..anything NEW and fresh I am welcoming into my life and making an agreement with myself to “see it” for what it is, on ANY level...as long as I allow myself to SEE!

I believe that BLINDNESS and/or losing even partial sight on physical and/or psychological levels, is all about making choices. We have the FREEDOM to choose how we want to live our lives every single second of every single day. The choices might be smaller or fewer for some than others, but even ONE choice is better than NO choice, and we all at least have one. Pick it! Choose it! Live it! That's my new mantra today.

Thanks you for letting me share my thoughts with you. I hope I have given you something positive to think about and something new to ponder.

From Me 2 You Online,
Laurie Jo

Life is ALL about choices - including healthcare!

I just watched the President on TV trying to explain the changes he would like to see concerning healthcare. Immediately following his address to congress, there was a commercial about a woman from Canada who found out she had breast cancer and was not able to see a doctor for 6 months so she came to the U.S. for treatment. Did she pay for her care while in the U.S. or did we pay for her care while she was here? Did she purchase health care while in the U.S? There was also another commercial stating that the U.S. has the best health care in the world and the woman talking about receiving the best care in the world receives the best care in the world because she HAS insurance! What about all of us who do not have health care, have been denied insurance or can not afford health care? How is the current system working for us?

I would at least like to commend the President for trying to make our world a little better. It is more than I can say for the last President who brought us into debt beyond anything we ever imagined possible and did not have the slightest concern for any of us who did not have any form of health care. If we were able to take all the money we have spent on the war in Iraq and Afganistan, it would be more than enough to fund health care for every American for the next 17 years. How great would that be?

Thank you for sharing your time with me.
From Me 2 You Online
Laurie Brand

Checking our awareness

I believe that it is easier to lose our awareness at any point in time than it is to stay focused and in the moment, when avoiding catastrophe, big OR small. Let me give you an example.

The other day when I was taking my morning walk and cogitating plans for the day I realized I was having an issue with my balance. Now, this is nothing new; however, I usually recognize that it is either time to sit down and wait for it to pass, or I will put off doing anything that might require a balanced equilibrium until I feel more stable. I don't really mind this about my physical self, as it reminds me about the importance of staying focused- most of the time. But, I have to admit, as I was making my way up a short grade in the street, I totally lost my awareness as I was losing my balance.

In an effort to avoid going “down”, I immediately started saying to myself, “you're not going to fall, you're not going to fall...” And of course I DID fall, while uttering, “you're going to stay upright”, remembering some of the teachings from The Secret that tells us 'anything we focus on, we create'(hoping my fall would be minimized at the very least). But, alas, I found myself on the ground, rubbing my elbow that had hit some stones fairly hard, and shaking my head at the fact that I truly HAD created my own little reality at that point in time. I had LOST MY AWARENESS-again!

For any of you who are not aware of the teachings of The Secret, here are some of the key points regarding focus and attention:



-When you visualize, you materialize

-When you go there in the mind, you go there in the body

-Anything we focus on, we create

-Focus on what you want, instead of what you don't want

-Energy goes where attention goes



Now that I have reminded myself about checking my awareness when I have a lot on my mind and try to do action-oriented tasks at the same time, will it keep me from falling? Hopefully. Will I avoid losing my awareness again under similar future circumstances? Probably not; but, it can't hurt.

Thank you for your willingness to share your time with me. For more articles and information, please visit our website at: http://www.fromme2youonline.com.

From Me 2 You Online
Laurie Jo

Cause and Effect

I am sure you have heard the old saying by Isaac Newton, "For every action there is an opposite and equal reaction". That is known as Newtons Third Law of Motion. I have always associated that with a physical action but it has recently come to my attention that it doesn't only mean 'physical'. In the spiritual realm, I believe it is called the "Law of Karma". I am beginning to see and understand that this Law of Karma also applies to thoughts and emotions, not just physical forces. What we think and feel also has vibrational energy that is just as real and forceful as any physical action we could choose to take. We have actually known this for years, but how many of us have truly paid attention to it? In the Bible we are told "As a man thinketh in his heart, so is he". "Whatever a person sows, that shall they also reap". So, if you are hateful, angry, unforgiving or judgemental....what should you expect to be returned to you? If you are loving, caring, forgiving and accepting...what should you expect to be returned to you?

I have to say I am really tired of all of us thinking that our way is the only 'Right' way because someone else has taught us to be unforgiving and judgemental and we have not been taught to think for ourselves! We try to brainwash our children, spouses, family and friends to think just like us. Actually, it is what I am trying to do to you now...because I believe my way of being accepting, forgiving, loving and non-judgemental is better than the way the world is currently headed. As a human race, we have spent more time fighting, being at war and trying to force our beliefs down the throats of all those who do not think just like us. Who decided what is right and wrong? I really don't think that job was left to 'man'. 'Man' has screwed it up for thousands of years and all of us are beginning to reap what we have sown. Not only have we killed, maimed and harmed other human beings, we are killing, maiming and harming our earth. Our earth is beginning to rebel and 'She' will have the final word. 'She' is effectively starting to cleanse the harm we have caused through numerous avenues such as floods, volcanos, hurricanes, droughts and disease.

The Karma we are experiencing is going to grow exponentially over the next few years as we now have much to pay for. Many of us are beginning to see the need to reverse our actions in order to reverse the effects we are now experiencing. We need to consider taking a much closer look at how we are treating our fellow human beings and our earth in order to start the process of reversing our current paths. Remember, you get back what you give out....and what we have given out has not been very beneficial, so please start thinking of making "Do No Harm" your philosophy for your fellow human beings, the earth and yourself.

Thank you for sharing your time with me.

From Me 2 You Online
Laurie Brand

Proud to be a Whale

Recently, in a large French city, a poster featuring a young, thin, tan woman appeared in the window of a gym:

"THIS SUMMER DO YOU WANT TO BE A MERMAID OR A WHALE?"

A middle aged woman, whose physical characteristics did not match those of the woman on the poster, responded publicly to the question posed by the gym.

To Whom It May Concern:

Whales are always surrounded by friends (dolphins, sea lions, curious humans). They have an active sex life, they get pregnant and have adorable baby whales. They have a wonderful time with dolphins stuffing themselves with shrimp. They play and swim in the seas, seeing wonderful places like Patagonia, the Barren Sea and the coral reefs of Polynesia . Whales are wonderful singers and have even recorded CDs. They are incredible creatures and virtually have no predators other than humans. They are loved, protected and admired by almost everyone in the world.

Mermaids don’t exist. If they did exist, they would be lining up outside the offices of Argentinean psychoanalysts due to identity crisis. Fish or human? They don’t have a sex life because they kill men who get close to them not to mention, how could they have sex? Therefore they do not have kids either. Not to mention who wants to get close to a girl who smells like a fish store?

The choice is perfectly clear to me; I want to be a whale.

P.S. We are in an age when media puts into our heads the idea that only skinny people are beautiful, but I prefer to enjoy an ice cream with my kids, a good dinner with a man who makes me shiver and a coffee with my friends. With time we gain weight because we accumulate so much information and wisdom in our heads that when there is no more room it distributes out to the rest of our bodies. So we aren’t heavy, we are enormously cultured, educated and happy. Beginning today, when I look at my butt in the mirror I will think:

“Good gosh, look how smart I am.”

It's all about self respect

Food for Thought

There is a policy at work, “No facial rings or clips shall be worn during working hours.” I have a young co-worker who defies this rule as often as she can. When our supervisor leaves for the day, the jewelry goes back on her cheek.

There is also a lot of drama in her life, boys come and go and she can’t figure out why the relationships don’t last. The next time I noticed the ornament back on her face, I used this as an example to explain her unhappy love life. I stated, “You are being disrespectful to your employer by defying a company policy, therefore, you are also being disrespectful to yourself. The boys take advantage of you because they sense this of you.”

I gave her something to think about as she looked at me with no answer.

Life is a wonderful classroom. I am grateful to have the opportunity to share some of my knowledge with others. I hope it brought the message home for my co-worker.

Thanks for sharing your time with me.

To share your thoughts with me, go to my website at: http://www.fromme2youonline.com and give me your thoughts.

From Me 2 You Online,
Cristina

I Believe….We Should EMBRACE Emotions, and NOT Fret the FUNKY

How many times have you wandered through your day(s) feeling “strange” , “out of sorts” , “can’t put-your-finger-on-it funky”? You watch the hours go by slowly, just counting the minutes until you can leave work or stop a dreaded task you are involved in, so you can “call it a day” and hop in the sack-pulling the covers over your head, hiding from the outside world until you can wake up to a new day refreshed and raring to go? Has this ever happened to you? If you think it hasn’t, you are fooling yourself and think you are successfully pulling the wool over the eyes of the rest of us. I truly believe that EVERY SINGLE ONE OF US has experienced this “BLUE FUNK” at least once in a lifetime…it’s a natural human condition, after all, to feel other than 100% fantastic at least sometimes- RIGHT?
OK, here’s what I think. The issues we have the most Fear (and sometimes Joy) about are those things that need the quickest and longest attention. We are reticent about addressing them because we feel it will take too much time away from other things/people/jobs/responsibilities (god forbid we should feel that we deserve to take time for ourselves to think ABOUT ourselves) and addressing them may even put us in a “blue funk” and we never want to “go there” if we can help it. I wonder what would happen if each of us designated a part of one day each month or, better yet, each week to do just that….to take a close look at one or more of the following:
(1) What/who pushes your buttons? (2) What takes your breath away? (3) What gives you palpitations in your chest? (4) What brings on tears? (5) What brings on anxiety? (6) What makes you smile? (7) What makes you cry? (8) What makes you laugh? (9) If you could be ANYBODY else, Who would you be? (10) If you could DO anything else than what you are currently doing, What would you DO?
I venture to bet that by addressing ANY of the questions above, you will either love yourself and/or other(s) more or less; question yourself and/or other(s) more or less; look at life/job/responsibilities/moral dilemma(a), etc. more or less seriously; learn to laugh at yourself/others more or less; spend more or less on therapy and just plain look at life a whole lot differently. HOW COULD YOU NOT? It’s all LIFE and it’s ALL GOOD-or BAD…but at least, if you are fogging a mirror every day, it’s more than likely better than the alternative.
Embrace your emotions, Friends! And DON’T FRET the FUNKY!

Thanks for letting me share my time and thoughts with you . I invite you to check back with us soon to hear other words of wisdom on this site, www.fromme2youonline.com

You are appreciated!
Laurie Jo

I Believe - Acceptance is the Key

I Believe order to attain ones true heart's desire, we must be able to accept our lives and situations as they are. If you believe you are already engaged in something capable of making you truly happy seek no further because you are doing exactly what you are wanting to do.

But if you need help identifying your true heart's desire then you might want to consider choosing Love as your dominant emotion. Allow the Love of Life to soothe your soul and flow into the grail of your heart to open the Flower of Life within.

If you are always trying to force your thoughts, your beliefs and your influence on others, you are trying to roll a boulder uphill. Not only do others not want to be told what to do, what to think and how to feel, they will eventually rebel against everything you are trying to make them accept.

The only way for someone to be happy and loving is to accept themselves and others exactly for who and what they are. By trying to change yourself or someone else to fit your idea of perfection, you are telling them they are not good enough for you as they are - they need to be different.

Acceptance of others and acceptance of yourself is the road to unconditional love and happiness.

Let's all practice today.

Thank you for sharing your time with Me.
From Me 2 You Online
Laurie Brand

I Believe - Balance is the Key

I believe we need a "balance" in life. Balance of career - family - material possessions - religious beliefs - love. How do we find "balance"? I believe we make sure we follow a few principles of life.

Honesty is first and foremost on my list. This will shape what is to come. Honesty with ourselves in what we want in life, what we believe in, what we can accomplish, what we can give. If we can be honest with ourselves, we can be honest with others.

Keeping our word - Trustworthiness. People who can be trusted are always in balance. What you give to others always returns rewards to us.

Finding the talents given us and sharing them is where joy is found and helps with our balance. Talents can lead us in our careers and some are passed down to generations. Great books are written, songs are sung, music is played, movies are produced, a message is delivered, peoples lives are changed.

Finding "balance" by sharing our beliefs gives wisdom, joy and understanding to others. Share your beliefs with family, friends, co-workers, acquaintances, the world. What you feel in your heart can be shown and shared from your belief and the balance you have in your life.

Your passion, your awareness of the world and circumstances around us can affect our balance. The way we use this balance is a way of giving to ourselves and to others. A "balance" between work and play can help relieve stress, physical conditions, fatigue and provide the necessary ingredients we need.

Being there for each other physically and emotionally and encouraging each other to be the best you can be can acquire "balance".

Find a balance of money and possessions. Support yourself and your family, but don't forget to give your wisdom, your time and your love to everyone needed.

'I Believe' we can work at finding a "balance" that works for each of us.

Thank you,
Barb

For more information or to share your "I Believe" thoughts, please visit us at: www.fromme2youonline.com